Blue, Blue, Blue...

Why do some people become such idiots when they drink? I'm probably no better of course and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I become an obnoxious rectum after 4 beer. I was recently on an aircraft for a 3 hour flight where two ladies had to be cut off by the stewardess because of (I think) their excessive noise. To me the last barley sandwich had to either just bring out their natural immature personality or betray a defect in their DNA which forced them to believe that it was their divine right to be the center of attention at all times. Personally my completely ignorant and untrained mind says that they were very insecure and had to bolster their ego by trying to make the rest of us think they were important.

Naturally I'm a mature drinker myself and have NEVER offended anyone while imbibing, right? Stop giggling out there, I know, I know... another round barkeep!

One last time...

I can't stop watching out my window at the land passing beneath us. Although Northern would like me to stay on the relief circuit for at least a few more months, what if this is my last flight... ever. What if that ice field south of Inukjuak is the last one? What if that maze of caribou trails between Kuujjuarapik and LG-2 is my last hint of the herd? What if I never again feel the glory of rising above a cloud layer into the rays of the setting sun? I want to experience and feel it all over again and all at once.

A strange and morbid thought has just come to mind and I can't help but wonder if this is what my death bed will be like. I can almost hear myself saying... "Please, let me see it all again, just one more time."

Sleep, hah!

OK, should have known that I wouldn't be able to sleep right away. Call me crazy if you want but I always have the exact same feeling every time I leave a community... I could have done more.

I could have finished just one more task, one more file, and one more shelf. I could have had more patience, been more of a listener, more of a teacher and coach. I could have spent more time with the new guy and maybe could have understood if his bearing was one of arrogance, confidence or just a feeling of being overwhelmed at accepting his biggest assignment to date. I could have thought back to when I was put into a similar position and tried my best for days to hide my uncertainty, fear and panic.

I could have done more...

Withdrawal...

I was once told that I was addicted to adrenalin. This seemed ridiculous at the time but it almost seems to be true on occasions such as today. At the time of writing this note I'm sitting at the Inukjuak airport struggling to keep my eyes open.

Leaving the store about an hour ago started the process. I had checked in my suitcase late this morning and then was dropped off myself by the Meat Department Manager on his way home for lunch. As soon as he left I sat myself down in the corner to wait the arrival of the Dash-8 that will take me to Montreal and at that point the rush and energy necessary to manage a large store left me.



The only way I can describe it is a draining of power or being. Sure, the new Store Manager got here a couple days ago and I handed over the keys and safe combinations to him, but I was still there as the resident expert up until this point in time. It's hard to put into words but it's just the feeling of relief with a long, hard job being finally over.

Time to board the aircraft now and I'll probably sleep all the way to Montreal. See 'ya! ZZZZzzzz....

I don't know what to say...

Another grandson was born a few days ago, seen here in the photo with his grandmother. Eight plus pounds and everyone fine. What to say... what to do... how to feel... what to say to my son. Are you ready? I wasn't. Such a huge, great and wonderful responsibility. What words to explain my thoughts and actions... or lack thereof. How fortunate I am to have such a great friend and partner in life as my wife is. She knows instinctively how to feel and act when I am confused and tongue-tied. It's not lack of feeling and emotion that is my problem... it's a lack of the ability to express it.

All I can say is... Way to go Shmitty!