Between Seasons…

Spring by the calendar with a hint of summer in the air, sometimes.

No buds on the poplars yet but the signs of the seasons are out there in the form of the frogs peeping, doves and other birds ‘frolicking’, the ducks are checking out nesting sites, our loons and geese are back on the beach and I even saw one of our giant wood spiders yesterday. I moved a board and there was, a full adult 2+ inches across. I’ve seen them much bigger than that when we were building the house and so far they’ve proved harmless but I have to admit that I’m a little nervous putting on my boots in the summer, even if I do shake them out first!

The lawn is all raked, except for the back yard which is still a little damp from runoff and the spring back there. It should be dry enough to do by next week, probably. There is still a little bit of snow way back in the bush and along the road in places but that won't last long.

Hmmm… probably… sometimes… almost sounds like I’m in between seasons myself and I guess I am in some ways. I’ve now completed 6+ months of retirement and just now starting to get settled down into a kind of routine. An hour or so of housework plus some cooking time, an hour or so doing other chores such as raking or shoveling or shed cleaning, a couple hours of Watkins related items such as calling candidates or associates along with making deliveries and doing the bookkeeping, an hour or so of web site work and that pretty well takes care of my day. Oh yes, just a little bit of Facebooking mixed in throughout the day… well, more than a little bit because I’m addicted you see. I shudder to think of what will happen when the full version of Microsoft Vine is released. Guess we’ll have to petition for longer days or less of a sleep requirement.

Anyway, these are a couple pix I took today. That white bench in the photo is going to need painting this spring along with the staining of the deck. I’d also really like to do something down on the beach. I’ve got it all cleaned up but it would be nice to make a few additions down there also. Maybe a bench or gazebo? We’ll see what develops. Talk at ‘ya later!

I’ve finally done it…

I passed a major hurdle in my life this morning. As I was searching for my Melvin Jones Fellowship pin to make sure I had it to wear to the Lions Convention this weekend I ran across my old Northern name tag.

What to do, what to do… This little piece of plastic with my name on it represented a huge chunk of my personal history. The slogan “Customer Service Is Our First Priority” was (believe it or not) the credo by which I tried to live my life for the past 35 years. All else got put aside… personal time, dreams and even family. I wonder what experiences and memories I missed during all those decades that I will never know about… it’s now too late to go back.

Enough of that… what I started to tell about today was that the Northern name tag, like myself, is now officially retired. While I sit on my deck or peck away at me leisure on my little laptop the name tag has received a different fate… it’s now on the way to the landfill. Hmmm… almost like losing a friend but maybe it’s time to gain a family.
Hello everyone, I’m home!

Who cares?

Well over a month ago I lost my watch. I know it’s around the house here somewhere but… who cares? I haven’t needed it and I don’t miss it so I’m not going to bother replacing it. Sure I still have a few things that have to be done at certain times but my trusty Palm Pilot reminds me whenever I’m supposed to be somewhere or doing something important. I think it’s great that those events are few and far between and I like it that way.

Where is the pleasure in not having to work if you are worrying about what time it is all day long? I get up in the morning when it starts to get light and I go to bed when I feel like it with no obligations or worries.

Ah yes, retirement is good... I should have done it years ago!

December 16th: Watch found, mixed in with my Watkins inventory.

December 28th: Still haven't needed my watch. Think I'll just throw it away.

(Photo under Creative Commons License)

Can't let go...

It seems to me that I still haven't quite given up and let go. A part of me is still back in the stores working away. I say this because my Palm Pilot (my magic memory machine) still pops up each and every Saturday with a weekly reminder of what reports are due this week. I can tell you that today I should have sent in the Variance Report for Week 38 and that the Payroll Reports should also have been forwarded for processing. Why haven't I deleted these memory joggers from my system yet?

I have no idea. Am I afraid of cutting the last ties from that part of my life? Do I actually think that I might break down and go back to work some day and need to have this information available? I sincerely hope that the latter is not the reason.

No, I think I'll plead to a form of inertia. The 60 hour work weeks are gone, the living out of a suitcase is gone, the waiting for an email containing the instructions for my next assignment is gone but... There is this hesitation over removing the last link to my 35 year history.

Maybe next week I'll have the courage to erase these last remainders and move one. The future is out there, I'll overcome and find it soon, dont' worry about it, I'm not.

November 2, 2008 Update: I just deleted all my weekly references to reports that are due when, how and where. Whew... glad that's finally over!

What is to be?

It’s just occurred to me that what I’m looking today is the rest of my life…

I am now retired… I have no further obligations in a working and contributing sort of way and feeling. I don’t HAVE to get up tomorrow, I don’t HAVE to be in the store by 8:00 to make sure we’re ready to open at 10:00 staff or not. I don’t HAVE to be ready for the truck/plane/ship/barge to be here at 10:15, I don’t HAVE to listen for the alarm or a knock/punch/bang/thump/breaking glass/shot in the middle of the night, I don’t HAVE to appear positive and gung-ho and smile for a lot of other people I don't really know. I must now be me… and it’s scares the hell out of me.

Have you ever had a 35 year long routine and responsibilities that ended overnight? What is my life to be, how can I matter, is there a purpose... I’m sure there must be but it will take me time to find, and I’m very lucky to have some great people to help me work through this time. I hope they are very patient…

Sleepless on Manitoulin…

Here it is the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. Too many plans, too many projects, too many memories of the past 35 years on the road… and some from earlier than that.

A bit of advice to all who are about to retire… You know all those things that you always said you would do after you’ve packed it all in? Well don’t try to start doing them all at the same time! Pace yourself, indulge yourself for a few weeks with some complete relaxation, reflecting, contemplation and planning of your next move. Then (and only then) start just one of those projects and work up to the rest as time permits later on. Try the one out, get comfortable with it, play with it and have some fun. After all, you’ve earned it and deserve it, right?

Am I doing it this way? Of course not, I’m too accustomed to running 14 things at the same time in the stores while trying to coordinate 10 or 20 staff members to do the same. My wife always said that I have an addiction to adrenaline and I think maybe she’s right. I’m truly the happiest when I’m actually trying to get every single one of those 14+ things done by the end of the day, but I’m realizing now that is has taken its toll over the years. I won’t get into any medical problems (real or imaginary) in this blog but I’ll just say that you have no idea how much of a downer it is when that type of demand is suddenly taken away from you. It used to hit me as soon as I stepped on a plane when leaving a community and I would just collapse in my seat in a state of complete exhaustion and fatigue. The thing is though… that rush would always start up again in a few days or a few weeks and I’d be back to my old overdrive self who thought this was normal and that I was feeling great. Guess what… now there is no new trip coming up in a few days and I’m having withdrawal symptoms from my 35 year addiction.

My hopes for a cure? Daily updating of all my web sites, taking on new duties for a couple of them, adding a new one or two, trying to contact and get to sign up on Facebook everyone that I've ever met in past 50+ years, setting up a table at a weekly flea market, setting up and conducting a meeting with over 500 people to pitch Watkins as a fundraising idea (that's going to have the adrenaline pumping), searching daily for new and prospective associates all over the continent, hoping to update this blog every day and renewing some past acquaintances. Hmmm… that’s not 14 projects, guess I have to try harder. Autumn of my life indeed... I think I many need HELP!

We are what we choose to be...

“And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” (T. S. Elliot)

Does the man define the job or does the job define the man? Am I the same person that I was a few days ago?

I’m now my own boss, I’ve got my passion back and I see a future ahead and not just an arbitrary date when some ready-or-not life changing event is supposed to occur.

Therefore in this case although the man has been shaped by what he was, he is now defined by what he visions his future to be.

“Your thoughts drive your actions, Your actions drive your results, Your results become your future.” (Anon)

Hey, I bet you tomorrow is going to be one really great day and I hope you’re all a part of it with me!

August 21, 1973 - August 31, 2008

Well this is it, the end of 35 years of travel from sea to sea to sea several times over. It’s been mostly fun with only a few regrets but I’m not sad that it’s all coming to a close. I’ve seen more of this country than most people can ever dream of and visited communities that people pay tens of thousands of dollars just to get to once in their lifetime. Wow, and someone actually paid me to do all this! I’ve been lucky to work for a company that takes care of its employees as well as Northern does and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given, no matter what I may have mumbled under my breath from time to time.

The following is an alphabetical listing of all the Hudson’s Bay Company and North West Company stores that I can remember working in even if some of them were unofficial and only for a few minutes. Many of them no longer exist but there’s a story with each and every one so perhaps someday I’ll sit down and fill you in on a few of them. As with most memoirs though some secrets will have to be kept and names changed just to protect the innocent. Hmmm, I can think of lots of variations of the HBC initials that were applied to “The Bay Boys” over the years so who am I kidding with the innocent remark! Personally I always preferred the Handsome Boys Club over some of the others.

So here we go… Attawapiskat, Banff, Bearskin Lake, Blanc Sablon, Buffalo Narrows, Calgary, Cape Dorset, Chesterfield Inlet, Chevrey, Chibougamau, Chisasibi (Fort George), Churchill, Clyde River, Coral Harbour, Deer Lake, Eastmain, Edmonton, Fort Albany, Fort Severn, Fort Smith, God’s Narrows, Happy Valley, Happy Valley Rental, Hay River Foods, Hay River Retail, Igloolik, Inukjuak (Port Harrison), Inuvik, Iqaluit (Frobisher Bay), Iroquois Falls, Island Lake, Kangiqsujjuaq (Wakeham Bay), Kangirsuk (Payne Bay), Kashechewan, Kasibonika, Kuujjuaq (Fort Chimo), Kuujjuaraapik (Great Whale River), La Ronge, La Tabitiere, Lake Harbour, Little Grand Rapids, Manouane, Mistassini, Montreal, Moose Factory, Moosonee, Nelson House, New Liskeard, Nitchequan, Norway House, Obedjiwan, Ottawa, Pangnirtung, Pickle Lake, Poplar Hill, Poplar River, Portage La Loche, Povungnituk, Qiqitarjuak (Broughton Island), Rankin Inlet, Rigolet, Rossville, Salluit, Sanikiluaq (Belcher Islands), Sapotaweyak, Sault Ste. Marie, Sioux Lookout, Smooth Rock Falls, Split Lake, St. Paul’s River, Toronto, Vancouver, Waskaganish (Rupert’s House), Weagamow, Webequie, Wemindji (Paint Hills) and Winnipeg.


And with this I do hereby declare myself officially retired. 3, 2, 1, 0…